Girl Power!

So often we put girls in a box ---- pink or pastel dresses, bows in the hair, heels, make-up --- these are all the things we associate with girls.

This box allows us to say things like -- whine like a girl, throw like a girl, run like a girl, weightlifting like a girl. None of the comments are said in a positive manner. Quite the opposite, they are meant to be demeaning and derogatory, usually to make a boy feel bad about themselves.

But, do we think how this makes girls in the hearing of these comments feel? 

I work in an office of all men. On almost a daily basis I have heard many of these negative comments said from one man to another - while I'm within ear shot. 

I know that these comments have nothing to do with me.

           I'm pretty sure that the comments have no bearing on their idea of my workmanship. 

                        I'm guessing that they still respect me as a co-worker. 

Do you see the sliding slope? 

Even though comments are not directly referenced to me, they bring a negative air into the office. I don't say anything many of the times that they are said. But, then after a while, my dish full of tolerance runs over and I make some sort of comment; Hey, that's really offensive to me or how about we pick on a different minority group today or is that really how you see me?  At the time that my comments are made most of my co-workers look at me with a confused look. The negative statements are so ingrained into our culture that most of the time the guys don't even realize that they are saying offensive comments. 

Seven months into sharing this office space with my male colleagues and it seems the comments have almost been eradicated - we still have our days, but they are becoming much less. I'm hoping that this is true in their personal lives as well.

I say all this to introduce the best picture I have seen on Facebook in a very long time.

Share with all your girl-friends, girl-children, and girl-colleagues and lets eradicate the negative girl sayings.

Why your critics don't count

Building off of my post from yesterday, here is a great video from Brene Brown.  If you have not heard of her yet, you need to Google her and look her up on YouTube. She is a woman who desires to have the brave conversations abut vulnerability and creativity. She is the woman who desires to help each of us see potential in ourselves.

Watch and let me know what you think.

3 Steps to becoming a stronger woman

The hardest part of starting a business is the not knowing. Not knowing if you can sell that item or service. The not knowing if you are good enough. The not knowing if you will make the income you need to make.

Oftentimes, we allow others in our life to determine if it is a good idea or not; if we will be successful or not. Too often, we give others more opportunity to comment on our dreams than we allow ourselves. This is especially true for women.

Why do we do that? 

Why do others matter? 

It shouldn't. Yet, it does. 

We could just end the discussion there. Accept this as fate. Say that because others think we cannot make it, then we should not try. 

If you are a fighter, then you know it cannot end there. Here are three ways to continue the conversation with yourself - to push yourself to dream bigger and be successful.

1. Surround yourself with positive people.  These are not the "yes"-people. You know what I mean by that - those that don't want to hurt your feelings or "let" you feel bad about yourself so they just allow you to keep making mistakes. While they seem to be supportive and help you feel better about yourself, these are not the positive people you need.

You need people who are willing to support you through the tough times. Those that help you grow. They are the people who actually tell you that a certain color is not good on you, that you should probably redo the article because its not your best work, or that you need to just put all your work down and have some fun. These are the people that challenge you to think bigger. They can do that, because they think bigger about their own goals. 

You will find that you succeed when the people around you want you to succeed.

2. Write down your goals. Without goals you have no way of knowing if you have succeeded at a task or not. Without goals you have no path forward. Start out small and make one new goal each week; let the goals build on each other. Goals for loosing weight may start with walking 30 minutes a day for the first month, then add the goal of eating three vegetables a day the second month, and so on. By the end of the year you would have developed a very healthy lifestyle, and lost some weight along the way, without banging your head against the way.

Without thinking, you would have also started some habits that make goal setting successful. You would have recognized the behaviors that need to change in order to reach your goal. Changing behavior is the key to successfully meeting your goals. The behaviors are the essence of your plan.

3. Don't listen to the critics. We all have them. They are the people around us that for one reason or another choose to give us negative comments or advice. Very simply put, if the person giving you the advice has never gone through a similar situation, is not currently reaching for the same goal, or has no experience in whatever behavior change you are trying to achieve do not listen to the negativity.

Even though this step is similar to number 1, it is different in one main ingredient. These are the people that do not make up your everyday life; they are not your inner circle. The critics may come through your Facebook page, your acquaintance list, or your community. These are the people who know about you, but do not know who you are. These are the people who have conversations about the weather or the community gossip, not about your deep desires or important ideas. Do not let the critics determine who you are, what you can do, or how you meet your goals.