How to spot a bully

We often tell our children to not be a bully, to not allow bully's to taunt others, to stand up for those who are currently being bullied. Be a friend, be a support. Do unto others as we would want them to do to us - that is a parent's favorite saying, isn't it?


So, I'm confused.

Donald Trump is the leading Republican candidate in the presidential run. Yet, by all definitions he is a bully. So, how is he at the top of the list when we so clearly tell our children to be the opposite?

I thought about this for a while. The only conclusion I can come up with is that we really don't know what a bully is.

To help, I've gathered three common characteristics of a bully.

1. Public criticism is used to quiet a person.  I'm sure you've been the brunt of a few of these "jokes" before. I know I have. Molly Cain, a writer for Forbes magazine, pointed out an important point about bully's ... they know exactly what will hurt and they do it in public. They crush you with their words. Want to quiet John McCain, publicly criticize him for being a POW. Want to make Carly Fiorina be quiet, talk about her "ugly face" on public television.

2. Anger and spite are used impulsively to get their way.  As Adrian Furnham, of Fortune Magazine, so eloquently puts it, a bully's dysfunctional impassivity means they are quick to anger and lash out at others if things don't go their way. How many times have we heard this from Trump in order to excuse his behavior, "Well they criticized me so I punched back." It isn't so much that he criticizes publicly; it is that he uses the most hurtful words and stories to completely decimate the other person.

3. There is a lack of information replaced with confusion. Bully's tend to be all over the board. It doesn't matter if the information given is good or bad, it only matters who the bully is talking to or who they are talking in front of. If we look at Trump's behavior and rhetoric, it definitely changes. If he is speaking in front of Christians, then he is the best Christian there is; in front of a mixed crowd he admits he hasn't found the need to ever ask for forgiveness of sins.  In front of a woman-predominate crowd he totes on how much he respects women; he has said some of his most sexist remarks in front of mixed-gender crowds.

As adults, do we not have the responsibility to mirror appropriate behavior to a younger generation? If so, then why are a majority of Republican voters (some of whom would normally vote the democratic ticket) supporting a candidate who shows all the signs of a bully?

If you are a Trump supporter, I'd like to hear how you reconcile voting for someone who bullies others. More importantly, how do you explain bully behavior to your child or grandchild. Maybe I'm missing something, educate me.