Brene Brown - a brave conversation

I've posted a Ted talk by Brene Brown on the topic of identifying yourself. More accurately, not allowing your critics to identify you.

I'm a true fan of hers. Mainly because she dissects a thought - like critics and vulnerability - and  makes it understandable and relatable to me. With her common language and frank speaking she really touches on some main issues with me. I understand what she is saying and I am spurred to make changes in my life.

In this video - Living Brave with Brene Brown and Oprah Winfrey - I find some very key nuggets that I can actually use for my life.

The two comments that made the biggest impact on me are:

Change the narrative
Who do you think you are?

These two statements are personal to me. You see, I've had some very negative years in my late teens and early 20's. These years created many skeletons that for many years were hidden from everyone. It has taken a lot of self talk and faith in God to get to the place that I am today. Brene Brown would use the phrase - Change the narrative - in place of my phrase self talk. Basically, they mean the same thing.

• Talking to yourself in a positive manner.
• Turning off the constant tape running inside your head - usually negative
• Believing that you can be anybody you want to be

These naturally turn into - Who do you think you are.  I've actually had people ask me that. Those people who didn't want me to succeed - they asked, who do you think you are? I remember one such individual. For many years, I worked on different diversity initiatives in my community and eventually co-facilitated a discussion group on topics of diversity.  I remember opening an e-mail from an acquaintance. I recognized the name from my past - from those dark, skeleton forming days. I was nervous to open it; thought it may open a can of worms. The e-mail almost silenced my voice. She went into a long tirade of reminding me of who I was, what I've done, and who I will always be - in her mind. It took a lot for me to put a stop to the negative tape in my head. If it were not for the positive self talk, my faith in forgiveness, and those people close enough to accept me for all of me, I would have folded up the discussion group and walked away. After all, that felt much more safe.

I now know that when we've made huge mistakes in our lives and especially when those mistakes are publicized, we allow our lives to be defined by them. We allow the consequences of those mistakes to be so large that we can never crawl out from under them. We believe the inaccurate phrase - a zebra doesn't loose its spots. Well I lost mine. I've climbed out of that pit. I'm on the other side of the mountain.

My narrative has changed. Today, I know who I am. 

Take the next 20 minutes and listen to Brene Brown's interview of Oprah. I hope and pray that it will impact your life as much as it has mine.

Give me your feedback in the comments section. If your message is too personal, send me a message through my "Contact Me" page. 

Above all - remember to have those brave conversations with yourself and with others.