Today's is the day for Big Talk!

Have you ever felt really alone? Ever felt that the world was so different from your own reality that
you didn't have a place? Ever felt that the support system you had suddenly shifted and they were no longer the support you needed?

I've been there, too. It is a very hard place to be. It is a lonely place to be.

I know how I got to that hard place and I can now see why I got there. But, in the midst of it all clarity was hard to find.

For me, it was the realization that I did not have the same experiences as my child was currently experiencing. I realized very quickly after she started school, that I was going to have to become a person that saw the world a bit differently than many of my friends saw the world. That was because many of the teachers, other students in class, and society as a whole saw my children differently than I did. See, I was a mother who was white, parenting a mixed child who was experiencing racism and discrimination for the first time. This racism and discrimination did not come from one group of people, it came from multiple groups.

How was I supposed to change my reality to fit my child's reality? Yes, I had been called names because of my relationship with their father. Yes, I had to deal with people terminating their relationship with me because of my marriage and children. Unless one knew my personal life these occurrences didn't affect me; I could easily go about my daily life without anyone ever knowing I may be different than they. My child didn't have that same experience.

I felt myself getting angry. I felt myself distancing myself from those around me. I felt myself cocooning myself up to supposedly protect me. My friends didn't understand what the problem was. There was really no one to talk to.

If I would have seen Kalina Silverman's TedTalk at that point, I may have realized what the problem was. I may have realized that instead of having these surface conversations with friends and family because that is what was most comfortable to them, I would have pushed the envelope to have the "big talk" conversation. I would have gotten to say what I needed to say. I wouldn't have been as angry and maybe some of my friends would have been able to help; to be a sounding board.

So, how is this part of Motivational Monday?

It is everything about being motivated.

In order for each of us to be the person we need to be
     To do the work we were created to do
          We must create the reality we need.

How in the world do we do that?

We do what Silverman did. We stop the small talk and we talk about what is below the surface. We start to actually connect. We start to share topics that really matter.

I know that when I finally made the jump, I was able to connect with a woman who I could finally open up to. I found a friend that I could just say whatever was the bee in my bonnet on that day. Most days she just listened, other days she agreed, and at times she told me my thoughts were not stuck in reality.

That, my friend is where you need to be. If you, like me and Silverman, are stuck in a place where you are slowly dying, where you are confused about what to do next, where you are feeling like a fish out of water, then you too need to start some big conversations.

I'd like to leave you with one statement from Silverman's presentation that made a big impact on me, "How can I take what I learned today to make my life different tomorrow?"

That is a big talk conversation starter.

Have a great Monday and start some big talks!